My sweet girls,
As I sit awake, as I often do I wanted to write down my thoughts as all of what what know as a family is about to change in the very near future.
First and foremost Brynn, your entrance into this world was the most rewarding experience of my life. You made me truly realize what can happen to someone when they completely surrender themselves to the journey of parenthood. In your short 14 months of life we've both cried, laughed, learned how to live and do things together. It has truly been the pleasure of my life to be your Mom and you make me so very proud each and every day. Already you are kind, funny, sassy, strong willed, sweet and most of all completely unique. I hope you always have the courage to stay that way, never change, not for anyone, even me. I can't promise that your life will be perfect or that things will always go easy for you, even when we work hard sometimes we fail, sometimes we hurt but I do promise that our home will always be open and you will always have a soft place to land and feel loved. You have my word.
To my new baby girl, you are a blessing, a surprise but a blessing none the less. Never doubt that you were and are wanted. You will be my last baby and as such you, as well as your sister, will hold a place in my heart that is all your own. I didn't know that my heart could expand and love as much as it has. You've taught me how to let go of fears and learn how to trust that all will be well. I look forward to learning who you will be and become. I look forward to discovering your personality, hearing your laugh, seeing your smile and watching you turn into your own unique self.
To both of my girls I promise that I will not be perfect, I will make mistakes, we will disagree, there will be times when none of us like each other. I also promise that first and foremost I will be your Mom and your well being and safety will always come first, no exceptions. Secondly I will be one of the people who will always love you and will accept you for who and what you are. Thirdly my heart and my life will always be open to you both.
As this adventure for all of us begins it's exciting and scary. Know that I think of you both by day and pray for you at night. May the good Lord bless you and keep you both in the palm of his hand, and may his light always shine upon you. I love you both to the moon and back!
Love Always,
Your Mom <3
Saturday, September 22, 2012
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Emotionally I'm spent
So the last few days have been an emotional and logistical roller coaster. As with Brynn we had a trip to labor and delivery which left us with more questions than answers.
For the past few weeks at my weekly appointments I've had protein come up in the urine samples. The doctor seemed especially concerned yesterday and told us that if I had any abdominal pain, headache or blurred vision that I needed to call and possibly come in. So this AM I was feeling all of the above. We were told to come straight to labor and delivery. Being 38 weeks we were told that most likely we would be having our baby girl as any protein was no good and since this one is baked completely they wouldn't take any risks.
Basically 4.5 hours later we were discharged and told that all my labs were on the high side of normal but normal none the less so at this point we are to continue on and allow natural course. I have to be rechecked Friday but other than that all is well.
Of course baby E is good but as for me, emotionally spent. This pregnancy has been rough. Partially my own doing (moving us approximately 3000 miles in 3 months), and partially it's just harder being pregnant a second time. And when you add in going from low risk home birth to c section to moderate risk hospital birth it is what I would call a roller coaster. Basically I'm done. I know there is a light at the end of this but at the moment it seems a bit dim.
Thank you to all our incredibly committed and kind friends and family. Your kind words, positive thoughts, comedic interludes and prayers are all welcomed and appreciated. As always we are humbled by the support and thankful for your kindness.
So what now? Try to wait and be patient. Babies come when they are ready. She definitely takes after her sister and will NOT be rushed by anyone. I'm going to try and zen out on this. It will end. My favorite pregnancy quote, " Pregnancy takes commitment, it's like getting a tattoo on your face."
For the past few weeks at my weekly appointments I've had protein come up in the urine samples. The doctor seemed especially concerned yesterday and told us that if I had any abdominal pain, headache or blurred vision that I needed to call and possibly come in. So this AM I was feeling all of the above. We were told to come straight to labor and delivery. Being 38 weeks we were told that most likely we would be having our baby girl as any protein was no good and since this one is baked completely they wouldn't take any risks.
Basically 4.5 hours later we were discharged and told that all my labs were on the high side of normal but normal none the less so at this point we are to continue on and allow natural course. I have to be rechecked Friday but other than that all is well.
Of course baby E is good but as for me, emotionally spent. This pregnancy has been rough. Partially my own doing (moving us approximately 3000 miles in 3 months), and partially it's just harder being pregnant a second time. And when you add in going from low risk home birth to c section to moderate risk hospital birth it is what I would call a roller coaster. Basically I'm done. I know there is a light at the end of this but at the moment it seems a bit dim.
Thank you to all our incredibly committed and kind friends and family. Your kind words, positive thoughts, comedic interludes and prayers are all welcomed and appreciated. As always we are humbled by the support and thankful for your kindness.
So what now? Try to wait and be patient. Babies come when they are ready. She definitely takes after her sister and will NOT be rushed by anyone. I'm going to try and zen out on this. It will end. My favorite pregnancy quote, " Pregnancy takes commitment, it's like getting a tattoo on your face."
Saturday, September 15, 2012
And so another chapter begins...
It's been so great to be back in CA. We've really begun to settle in. We have a great place, good support system and it seems like everything is falling into place.
After our regular weekly OB appointment we were told that although we cannot have our planned home birth we will be able to have a regular hospital birth. It really was an answer to our prayers. It's really all in Gods hands.
Now comes the waiting...baby E will be here and soon our little family of 3 will be our completed family of 4. It's scary and exciting. Until we meet again....
After our regular weekly OB appointment we were told that although we cannot have our planned home birth we will be able to have a regular hospital birth. It really was an answer to our prayers. It's really all in Gods hands.
Now comes the waiting...baby E will be here and soon our little family of 3 will be our completed family of 4. It's scary and exciting. Until we meet again....
Monday, September 3, 2012
California at Last
Not even sure how to start this...we re home! The last 3 months have been a whirlwind of emotion, change, upheaval, deep contemplation, boat load of prayer and most of all humbling. We have gone from living in Reno, moving to Texas, to moving back to Graeagle.
We moved to Reno shortly after Brynns birth so that we could have easier access to the amenities of living "in town" as well as ease for Bryan during his student teaching. We were extremely fortunate to make some excellent friends and be closer to Bryan's parents. We however never imagined that Reno would be our final destination. The job market for Bryan was abysmal and it's just not where we saw our lives.
We looked into several opportunities in several states and after much consideration and prayer we decided to take a huge leap of faith and move to Texas. It was a huge undertaking and it was fraught with difficulties. Once we were there we had some difficulties adjusting to the politics, social aspects and living in the Bible belt. My work was good but we just didn't really fit in. Needless to say we believe it was definitely more than happenstance that my current job offer came along. When it did we prayed about it alot and although it would mean yet again uprooting our lives we decided that our real "home" was and always will be California.
The journey back was difficult but definitely worth it. We are truly home. We miss some of the niceties and pleasantries of Texas but as they say, Texas is for Texans. We wish all of the people we met there all the best ad hope they reciprocate the thoughts.
So as we spend this last forum weeks as a family of 3 we re excited to get settled and look forward to the coming Fall. Thank you again to all of our family and friends for all you've done for us.
Until next time....
We moved to Reno shortly after Brynns birth so that we could have easier access to the amenities of living "in town" as well as ease for Bryan during his student teaching. We were extremely fortunate to make some excellent friends and be closer to Bryan's parents. We however never imagined that Reno would be our final destination. The job market for Bryan was abysmal and it's just not where we saw our lives.
We looked into several opportunities in several states and after much consideration and prayer we decided to take a huge leap of faith and move to Texas. It was a huge undertaking and it was fraught with difficulties. Once we were there we had some difficulties adjusting to the politics, social aspects and living in the Bible belt. My work was good but we just didn't really fit in. Needless to say we believe it was definitely more than happenstance that my current job offer came along. When it did we prayed about it alot and although it would mean yet again uprooting our lives we decided that our real "home" was and always will be California.
The journey back was difficult but definitely worth it. We are truly home. We miss some of the niceties and pleasantries of Texas but as they say, Texas is for Texans. We wish all of the people we met there all the best ad hope they reciprocate the thoughts.
So as we spend this last forum weeks as a family of 3 we re excited to get settled and look forward to the coming Fall. Thank you again to all of our family and friends for all you've done for us.
Until next time....
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